Allow me to set the scene. Allow me to bare the hidden habitual nature of my life that created a pattern of behavior of self-medication and constant introspective analysis that catalyzed this therapeutic endeavor and the feelings, experiences and triggers that informed this new daily practice and public record of a battle against a habitual drug orientated lifestyle that is an adverse and debilitating culture – at this stage and at the age of 29 – that is holding me back. 12 plus years of habitual cannabis use. 2 plus years of self medicated Diazepam use which lead to a revelation – in combination with short term therapy that lead to over 5 months off habitual cannabis use. But, unfortunately also lead to an upswing in Cocaine use that – despite beating the cannabis addiction – has opened the dark door into a new cycle of behavior that is inevitable going to destroy my progress as a valuable friend, family member, and productive member of society.
This new public practice, this plan and the necessary self control to re-connect with the drug-free and true representation of who I am, is integral to achieve my full potential in my professional life, personal life and creative labour of love to champion the creative culture that has come to define my identity and given my life value and purpose.
Acknowledging my faults and sharing the experiences on a daily basis in diary form is the formula for monitoring progress, honestly expressing the daily angsts that compound and trigger my drug use and given the platform at hand, this is an incredibly vulnerable act to inform positive progression in the aforementioned areas of my life.
This aint just a diary, it’s a daily log to share my story. To inform, inspire and to therapeutically allow myself to present my intricate and intimate life experiences that created the cycle of counter progressive actions that lead me to the person I’ve become, and the person I intend to bury in my 20’s. and set up the next chapter of my life.
The descent down the slippery slop started when I lost a best friend and confidant who I made an oath to fulfill our shared ambitions. The upward ascent begins today, and everyday until I make it outta the woods.
This is real life. This is my life. This is a attempt to better myself so I can be better. This is for me. This is for my friends and family. This is for the benefit of all who can relate, and all who can draw inspiration from the integrity and vulnerability at the heart of this endeavor. This is volume 1 of many. This is a marathon not a sprint, and this is the first step.
To be continued…
POSTED BY: @TIMI.WATSONROSE